Perimenopause Support Groups and the Unwelcome Intrusion of Sales Webinars
Are you navigating perimenopause, seeking refuge in online support groups, only to be confronted by seemingly well-intentioned members pushing sales pitches your way? You're not alone in this frustrating experience.
Entering the whirlwind of perimenopause, I must admit, it's an extraordinary period in life. We find ourselves blessed with more support than ever before, thanks to the dedication of a few remarkable women in the fields of medicine and media. TV shows, articles, podcasts, and vibrant social media support groups have sprouted, filling the gap left by what seemed like an indifferent society. Sharing in the experiences and stories of fellow women provides solace, a reassuring reminder that we're not alone on this tumultuous journey. Knowing that others are grappling with similar trials somehow lightens the load. However, as with many good things, there's a flip side to this newfound support, that comes in the shape of 'experts' added to these groups that are clearly there to pitch their services. It's a case of 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, and it's left me feeling disheartened.
Perimenopause is a phase of life that over 50% of the world's population will inevitably face.
All women experience menopause, and for many, it arrives with a host of distressing symptoms like hot flashes, stubborn weight gain, maddening brain fog, anxiety that can grip you like a vice, and episodes of uncontrollable rage.
The statistics from a survey conducted by The Menodoctor in 2023 are both revealing and unsettling. Of the over 4 thousand women who responded, a staggering 58% described their symptoms as severe to very severe. An overwhelming 79% grappled with significant fatigue, while 74% battled weight gain they couldn't seem to control. Concentration problems plagued 59%, and 64% endured the torment of anxiety.
What's most startling is that 64% of these women didn't even realise that their symptoms were linked to perimenopause.
Adding salt to the wound is the resounding absence of support. Instead of empathy and understanding, we often encounter blame, rejection, and derision. It's disheartening to hear comments like, "She's let herself go," especially when the turmoil we're facing is beyond our control.
Count me among the 64% who found themselves grappling with unexplained suffering.
I genuinely believed I was losing my mind and most days, it felt as though I didn't know who I was anymore. Which is pretty bloody terrifying.
It wasn't until I stumbled upon a support group on a social media platform that I began to piece it all together. While it didn't make the symptoms magically vanish, it did provide a glimmer of relief. To put it simply, I felt seen. Acknowledging that I was navigating a normal, transformative stage of life made the journey a tad more manageable.
However, a recent incident in my fave group left me boiling with frustration. It all began when a fellow member poured her heart out, sharing her struggles with perimenopausal weight gain. I chimed in with a comment, an attempt to express solidarity and let her know she wasn't alone in this uphill battle.
Then, out of nowhere, I received a direct message from another group member.
She introduced herself as a health and weight loss coach, inviting me to join her "free" webinar on perimenopausal weight gain. Assuring me that the group admin had given her the green light, she asked me about my own weight struggles. I recounted my prior success with Trim Healthy Mama and how my weight had gradually crept back up since perimenopause blindsided me two years ago. She shared insights about how most diets aimed at women like us often fall short in addressing the crucial concept of a calorie deficit, which is the cornerstone of weight loss. She promised that her seminar would demystify this vital aspect.
Her friendly demeanor and empathetic approach led me to think, "Why not give it a shot? It's free, after all." So, I eagerly signed up, hoping for a revelation that would unlock the mysteries of perimenopausal weight loss.
However, the webinar was a total bust.
Although the coach herself was engaging and her presentation well put together, there was no enlightening moment about perimenopausal weight loss. Instead, it felt like a typical sales pitch for her coaching services, following the same script we've encountered countless times before. It identified our problems, backed them up with flashy scientific jargon, tugged at our desires, and inevitably presented her coaching as the one and only solution. It left me with a sour taste in my mouth, prompting me to exit the webinar prematurely, my irritation reaching new heights.
I jumped straight onto her website to see just how much her services would set me back. As the dull ache within me had predicted, her prices were far beyond what I could afford.
But what really annoyed me were the comments on the support group page the following day.
People were effusive in their praise of her "informative webinar," claiming that they now possessed all the information necessary to shed those stubborn pounds. I couldn't help but wonder if we had watched the same event! Am I the arsehole here?
Working to remain calm, I tried to put myself in their shoes, recalling my own bewildered beginnings in the realm of perimenopause. Maybe, I wondered, if you're just embarking on this perimenopausal journey, her presentation might seem genuinely helpful. I questioned whether I was being too hard on this coach. After all, she was merely trying to make a living, right? Shouldn't I support a fellow woman hustling in her own business? Would I be complaining about her pitch if I had the financial means to afford her services?
As I scrolled through those comments, I came to realise that my perspective, labeling it as a subtle sales pitch, was not the popular view. So, I held my tongue and chose to vent my thoughts here, aspiring to shed light on this practice that seems to be infiltrating our cherished online sanctuaries.
The truth is, I'm pretty pissed off that this coach slid into my DMs on the premise of offering help.
It's also safe to say I'm more than a tad uncomfortable with the fact that the group admin gave her the approval. These support groups are supposed to provide, well, support. They should be a space where we can openly share our thoughts, feelings, and experiences without constantly worrying about someone trying to sell us something. The admin probably added people like this coach as 'experts' to give dependable, fact-checked information, and I appreciate that. But when this turns into a sales pitch, that's not ok for me.
The whole life/health/weight loss coach thing is on the rise, and while that's not necessarily a bad thing, let's face it, they're in it for the money. Us women dealing with perimenopausal symptoms are like fish in a barrel for these coaches because nothing else seems to do the trick for us. We're stuck wrestling with symptoms that society and modern medicine still don't quite get. It's got me worried that we're becoming easy targets for coaches looking to cash in.
Will I continue to use this support group? Yes, I think I will. On the whole, they're a fabulous bunch of women. It's a valuable place to find information and community, and it's a safe space to simply vent. But I will certainly be more discerning as to who I interact with!